


if you talk enough sense (then you'll lose your mind)

by joshllyman



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Multi, Non-Linear Narrative, Polyamory, it starts out non linear and becomes linear i guess, settle in it gets worse before it gets better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:22:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23418187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshllyman/pseuds/joshllyman
Summary: Akaashi Keiji’s heart breaks for the third time on an otherwise nondescript Sunday morning.He’s scrolling through his Twitter timeline, coffee in one hand, and sees a tweet linked to an article. He doesn’t believe his eyes, at first, because there’s no way he’s reading this correctly.Breaking: Bokuto Koutarou engaged! Meet the lucky lady who won his heart.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 279





	if you talk enough sense (then you'll lose your mind)

**Author's Note:**

> heavily inspired by "i found" by amber run, which i've always thought of as a bkak song and listened to on repeat while i wrote this. that's also where the title is from.

Akaashi Keiji’s heart breaks for the third time on an otherwise nondescript Sunday morning.

He’s scrolling through his Twitter timeline, coffee in one hand, and sees a tweet linked to an article. He doesn’t believe his eyes, at first, because there’s no way he’s reading this correctly.

_ Breaking: Bokuto Koutarou engaged! Meet the lucky lady who won his heart. _

There’s a tear falling down Akaashi’s face before he can stop it from coming. He hates it, hates himself for still caring after all these years, and has to set his phone down and clear his mind.

He finishes his coffee and breathes in and out on a repetitive mantra:

_ He never cared. _

He empties the mug and picks his phone back up. He sends the article to Kuroo and receives a response just a few minutes later.

>>I know.

\---

It takes three days before Akaashi can finally process everything.

In the meantime, he obsessively checks volleyball twitter, watches Youtube reactions, reads every news article he can get his hands on. Bokuto’s made quite the name for himself, and there’s plenty of folks on the Internet who want him on a superficial level. Nothing like the way Akaashi wants him.

_ Wanted _ him. 

(Maybe if he uses past tense enough he can convince himself it’s in the past.)

The “lucky lady” is an upcoming actress. They met at a magazine party last year. They’ve been dating seven months. There are a million pictures of the huge ring Bokuto bought her, and Akaashi thinks she must have picked it out herself. 

Akaashi knows Bokuto would have picked something more sentimental and less ostentatious.

Akaashi knows Bokuto isn’t in love with her.

He can’t be.

He opens and closes his messages with Bokuto a hundred times in the week after the news hits the Internet. He types message after message, outrage and hurt and pain painting the words for him, and then he meticulously deletes every message. It’s ten days before he can finally send a message he doesn’t erase.

<<Congratulations, Bokuto-san.

And then, in a separate message, he sends another text.

<<Are you free sometime soon? 

\---

Akaashi Keiji’s heart breaks for the second time on a Friday night when he’s 24 and thinks the world is kinder than he has any right to believe.

He’s expecting Bokuto any moment, and there’s something about tonight that has him antsy. It’s been a year now that they’ve been sleeping together; an early victory with his team had had Bokuto soaring, and post-game drinks had led him to invite Akaashi to bed, and the invitation had stayed open. It wasn’t the fairytale romance he’d pictured when he was a second year in high school and fell in love with Bokuto the first time, but maybe Bokuto wanted something more, after all. And maybe Bokuto doesn’t remember the exact date they’d first slept together the way Akaashi does, but the text he’d sent earlier sparked a flare of hope inside Akaashi’s heart.

>>We should talk tonight.

<<Of course.

Akaashi has made dinner and poured wine and paced his apartment for a good thirty minutes now, and there’s still no knock at his door. Bokuto is never late. Bokuto is  _ never _ late, even when practice goes late and he’s had an awful day and traffic keeps him, he’s never, never late.

Akaashi’s stomach twists and untwists itself. He checks his phone obsessively. He checks the local news to see if there’s been an accident or a natural disaster or an assassination, and when his search turns up empty he empties his wine glass and simply stares at the door.

It’s almost an hour past when they’d agreed to meet when there’s finally a knock.

Akaashi practically runs to the door to let Bokuto in, wrapping his arms around Bokuto before the door is even fully shut. Bokuto is stiff in his hold, eventually returning Akaashi’s hug but not without evident hesitation.

Akaashi shuts the door behind him, and Bokuto averts his eyes as he goes to sit at the counter. Not at the table where Akaashi’s now lukewarm dinner waits.

“You had me worried sick,” Akaashi says slowly, and Bokuto meets his eyes for the first time.

“I’m sorry,” he says. His voice is hoarse. He offers no further excuse or explanation.

Akaashi goes to sit beside him, a hand heavy on his knee that Bokuto stares at like it’s shocked him. “Where have you been?”

Bokuto continues to stare at his hand.

“Bokuto?” Akaashi questions. He moves his hand from Bokuto’s knee to his chin. “Are you alright?”

“We can’t do this anymore,” Bokuto chokes. 

Akaashi feels his words like a lash across his face.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Akaashi removes his hand from Bokuto’s face and folds it in his lap. “Bokuto…”

Bokuto turns his eyes away again. “I had an interview today,” he whispers. “They asked me about my personal life.”

“They always do,” Akaashi says.

He looks up at Akaashi, his face wretched and miserable. “They asked about you.”

Akaashi’s breath goes out of his lungs. “So you tell them what you always tell them,” Akaashi says slowly. “We’ve been close friends since high school. We’re friends, Bokuto.”

Bokuto stares at him, and in that moment Akaashi thinks he understands.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Bokuto whispers.

Akaashi stands and moves robotically to the cabinet. He pulls out a glass container, which he loads up with the dinner he’d made. He presses it into Bokuto’s hands.

“Put it in the microwave for two minutes,” he says, staring down at the remnants of their date. Bokuto accepts the container, and Akaashi’s hands drop to his sides. 

“Keiji…”

Akaashi looks up at Bokuto. There are tears in Bokuto’s eyes, or maybe in his own. “Koutarou,” he murmurs, and he grabs Bokuto’s face and pulls him close for a kiss that tastes like regret.

“Two minutes,” Akaashi reminds him, and he goes to his bedroom and pulls the door shut before Bokuto is out of the apartment.

\---

Akaashi doesn’t blink or look away, even as Kuroo sips from his beer.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Kuroo says, and Akaashi blinks.

“It’s one of the worst I’ve had yet,” Akaashi agrees.

He slides his phone across the table to Kuroo. It’s open to his messages with Bokuto. The last message is one Akaashi sent almost a week prior.

<<Congratulations, Bokuto-san.

There had never been any response.

Kuroo looks down at it, and Akaashi watches the line of his throat as he swallows. “That was really shitty of him,” he says, sliding the phone back across to Akaashi. “I can’t believe he wouldn’t…that’s really shitty.”

Akaashi can’t manage more than a nod as he pockets his phone. 

“It’s...still a bad idea.”

“Yes,” Akaashi acknowledges. “I need something to take my mind off it.”

Kuroo licks his lips. Akaashi watches the way his tongue flicks out to catch a drip of sweat on his top lip. “You’re a good friend, Akaashi.”

“And you’re a good friend of mine, Kuroo,” Akaashi answers. “That’s why I’m asking you.”

Kuroo watches Akaashi carefully as he finishes his beer, and his hand tightens on his own glass. “No strings attached?” he asks.

Akaashi sets down his glass. “No strings attached.”

Kuroo finishes his beer.

A minute later, he’s got Akaashi pressed up against the wall outside the bar.

\---

Akaashi Keiji’s heart breaks for the first time just three days after he realizes he’s fallen in love.

When Fukurodani won Nationals, when Bokuto received the MVP award for the tournament, when a shiny golden metal was hung around his neck, Akaashi couldn’t look away from the boy who’d brought him here. And the moment the last point was scored, Bokuto didn’t turn to the rest of the team. He turned to Akaashi, gathered him up in his arms and lifted him off the ground, and Akaashi’s been soaring inside ever since. 

“You did it,” he’d murmured into Bokuto’s ear.

Bokuto had set him down and stared him right in the eyes, right in the soul. “ _ We _ did it,” he corrects.

The rest of the team pressed in around them and they didn’t get a chance to talk more that day, but the way Bokuto had looked at him appears behind his eyelids every time he closes his eyes. It doesn’t take him long to reach the conclusion that the feelings he holds in his heart are more than friendship, more than platonic devotion or the love teammates have for each other. 

Akaashi Keiji is in love with Bokuto Koutarou.

And maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance Bokuto is in love with him, too. 

There’s no practice Monday, but Bokuto and Akaashi go to the gym anyway. They start the way they normally do, with Akaashi setting for Bokuto and Bokuto gratefully spiking every toss Akaashi gives him. He chases every ball down with enthusiasm, running back into place and asking for another. After a while Akaashi shyly asks if Bokuto will toss for him, and Bokuto agrees with a huge smile on his face, wrapping his arms around him in a loose hug before they switch positions.

“Nice kill, Akaashi!” he shouts, and the encouragement warms Akaashi’s face.

He sends an overhand to Bokuto, who sets it up nice and high for him (and in another life maybe their positions were switched, maybe Bokuto was the exuberant setter to Akaashi’s introverted ace) and Akaashi jumps and slams it down in a passing imitation of Bokuto’s straight.

The ball bounces hard, and the slap of rubber against floor echoes across the gym as Bokuto stares at Akaashi. 

“Akaashi!” Bokuto shouts. He runs over and picks Akaashi up off the ground again. “That was amazing! Where did you learn how to do that?” 

Akaashi is breathless. Bokuto sets him down, but his arms stay locked around Akaashi’s waist.

“I learned it from watching you,” he answers.

Bokuto looks like he might cry. He crushes Akaashi to him again. “You’re amazing,” Bokuto says, quietly for him, and Akaashi’s heart pounds in his chest. “Can you do that again?”

“Of course, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says.

They play until Akaashi’s calves burn. He’s not used to putting so much power behind the ball, not used to the hard slap of the ball against his palm. His hand is red and tingling when he finally asks Bokuto to be done.

They clean up the gym and begin to walk home as the sun sets. Bokuto drags him into a convenience store and buys ice cream for both of them, and they sit shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh on the bench outside and eat it.

Bokuto is unusually quiet, and Akaashi can’t think of anything that should be troubling him. He waits until Bokuto’s ice cream is gone and he’s sitting back against the bench, his arms behind his head.

“Is something bothering you, Bokuto-san?” he asks.

Bokuto’s eyes meet his, and they’re sad. “Do you ever feel like you can’t be who you really are, Akaashi?”

Akaashi takes a deep breath. “Yes.”

Bokuto brightens a little. “Not around you, of course. I can always be myself around you.”

“Of course you can,” Akaashi says. “You can tell me anything.”

Bokuto hesitates for a moment. He leans forward and looks pointedly at the ground. “Akaashi...I think I’m gay.”

Akaashi nods. “Alright.”

Bokuto looks up at him. “That’s it? Just alright?”

“Did you expect a different response?”

“I thought you might be upset,” Bokuto confesses.

Akaashi inhales deeply. “I could never be upset about that, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto blinks, and Akaashi can see the moment he pieces it together. “You’re…?”

“I am,” Akaashi confirms.

“Oh.”

There’s a hint of a smile on Bokuto’s face, and Akaashi smiles back, hoping to encourage him.

“Was that all you wanted to tell me?” he prompts.

He and Bokuto stare at each other for a long minute. Akaashi thinks all of time and space might be watching them in this moment, the whole universe waiting with baited breath for Bokuto’s answer.

“That’s all,” he says, and Akaashi’s heart crumbles to pieces in his chest.

He manages a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Well, then. I’m glad you were able to tell me.”

“Me, too.” Bokuto’s smile is blinding. “Thanks for being so cool, Akaashi. It’s good to know you’re my best friend.”

Akaashi has to bite his lip to keep from crying. “You’re mine, too,” he whispers, and he hopes Bokuto mistakes the pain in his voice for joy.

\---

The alarm shocks Akaashi out of his sleep, which is surprising. Usually he’s up before the alarm goes off.

He reaches across Kuroo to grab it, and Kuroo groans and rolls into him. “Loud,” he grumbles, and Akaashi huffs a laugh as he reaches for the alarm.

Except it’s not his alarm.

Akaashi’s hands tremble as he processes the number on his screen.

Bokuto hasn’t called him in three years.

Akaashi settles back into the bed, the phone still ringing in his hand as he stares at it, and Kuroo buries his head in Akaashi’s chest. “Make it stop,” he moans.

Akaashi presses ignore, and Bokuto’s number disappears.

Kuroo sighs. “You woke me up.”

“The phone woke you up,” Akaashi corrects. He runs his fingers through Kuroo’s messy hair. It was softer than he’d expected, the first time they’d slept together. “I didn’t do anything at all.”

Kuroo moves his hand across Akaashi’s stomach, and Akaashi inhales sharply. “Technicalities,” Kuroo says. He turns his lips to Akaashi’s skin and presses his mouth against Akaashi’s ribs. Akaashi’s finger tighten in his hair, and Kuroo looks up at him with a grin. “You have time before work?”

Akaashi tosses his phone to the far side of the bed and does his best to forget. “I’ve got time,” he answers, and Kuroo grins before he moves his head downward.

\---

“Hello, Bokuto-san.”

There’s a long pause on the other end of the line, followed by the sound of footsteps. “Akaashi,” Bokuto says. His voice is hushed. “It’s...good to hear from you.”

Akaashi wants to remind him that it was his choice to stop hearing from Akaashi in the first place. “Likewise. Congratulations.”

“Ah, yeah, I got your text,” Bokuto says. Akaashi can see in his mind the way he shrugs apologetically. It’s probably accompanied by a half-smile. Akaashi doesn’t want to see these things, and yet they appear in his mind anyway. “Sorry, I got busy and forgot to answer.”

Had Bokuto called just to lie? “That’s understandable. I would venture to guess your schedule is pretty full these days.”

Bokuto laughs quietly. “Yeah, something like that. How...how are you?”

I’m heartbroken, Akaashi thinks. I never got over you. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved. I’m fucking your best friend just to feel something.

“I’m doing well,” Akaashi says.

If Bokuto is going to lie, he might as well lie right back.

\---

“Why didn’t you tell me Bokuto was seeing someone?” Akaashi asks Kuroo one night.

Kuroo looks up from the book he’d been reading. His hair is messier than usual because Akaashi had had him on his back earlier. “Would you have wanted to know?” he questions.

Akaashi picks at the hangnail on his thumb and doesn’t look up at Kuroo. “I guess not,” he answers.

\---

“You should come to one of my games sometime,” Bokuto suggests.

He’s quieter now than he used to be. The phone conversations they’ve had in the past few months are always hushed. Akaashi wonders why he’s still doing this to himself.

“I’m pretty busy myself,” he lies. “Life of an editor and everything.”

“Right,” Bokuto says. Akaashi pretends not to hear the hurt in his voice.

“How’s wedding planning coming along?” he asks, hoping a change in subject will salvage his heart.

There’s a long moment of quiet. “It’s fine,” Bokuto says. “Mirai’s doing most of the planning herself. Don’t think she trusts me to be in charge.”

They both laugh, but it’s hollow, and Akaashi wonders if they’ll ever be real with each other again.

\---

“I can’t do this anymore,” Akaashi says.

Kuroo looks at him. They’re splitting a pizza Kuroo had brought with him on his way from work, and some trash soap opera is on the television. Kuroo finishes his slice before he answers.

“The sex?” he clarifies.

“Yes,” Akaashi says. “I’m sorry.”

Kuroo shrugs. “We both knew it was temporary. You’re still one of my best friends, Akaashi. I wasn’t trying…”

He looks away. Akaashi finishes the last of his glass of wine.

“You weren’t trying to be Bokuto,” he finishes for Kuroo.

Kuroo doesn’t lift his head. “No strings attached,” he murmurs.

Akaashi hesitates. “Is that still true for you?” 

Kuroo meets his eyes, and Akaashi knows the answer without Kuroo having to say anything at all.

“I’m sorry,” Akaashi says again, and this time it comes out on a whisper.

Kuroo picks up another piece of pizza and takes a bite from it. “Do you think...in another life, maybe, if you’d never known Bokuto.”

“Could I have fallen in love with you?” Akaashi finishes for him. 

Kuroo inclines his head.

“Yes,” Akaashi answers. He puts a hand on Kuroo’s knee. “I could have.”

Kuroo doesn’t respond, and they both go back to eating pizza. After dinner Kuroo gets tired of the soap opera and tosses a Nintendo remote at Akaashi. He proceeds to beat Akaashi in every round of Mario Kart they play.

When it gets later, Akaashi lets his head fall onto Kuroo’s shoulder, and Kuroo presses a kiss to the top of his head.

\---

“Does Nakamura-san know you’re talking to me?” Akaashi finally asks one day.

A sound like choking comes through the phone, and Akaashi is mildly alarmed until Bokuto recovers himself.

“I suppose that answers that question,” Akaashi says mildly.

“It’s not a secret, exactly,” Bokuto protests. “It’s not like she told me not to talk to you.”

“Did you tell her about me?”

“Yes.”

“Did you tell her everything?”

Silence.

“So no, then.”

“She doesn’t need to know.” Bokuto’s voice is dark. “It would only hurt her.”

And what about me, Akaashi thinks to himself. “And it wouldn’t hurt her to know you’re talking to me now? Behind her back?”

Bokuto sighs, and it comes across the phone as static and then silence. Akaashi picks at his hangnail while he waits for a response.

“I’m allowed to talk to my friends. I talk to Kuroo all the time. And Hinata, and Miya. We’re just friends, Akaashi.”

Just friends.  _ Just friends _ .

There’s another stab of hurt through Akaashi’s chest, and he wonders when he’ll stop giving Bokuto more knives.

“I was sleeping with Kuroo for a while,” Akaashi says, apropos of nothing, and he’s once again met with quiet. “We broke it off, though. We were better as friends.”

It doesn’t encompass the entire situation, but it’s close enough to the truth for now.

“Okay,” Bokuto says eventually.

“Okay,” Akaashi agrees.

He wonders if Bokuto’s hurting as much as he is.

\---

“How long have you been talking to him?” Kuroo asks.

Akaashi sighs. “Too long,” he says. If it weren’t for the controller he’d put his head in his hands. “I don’t know why I’m doing this.”

“Maybe because you’re in love with him,” Kuroo suggests, his voice dry. Akaashi raises his eyebrows at him. 

“Maybe so,” Akaashi says. “It’s not like it makes much of a difference anymore.”

Kuroo sighs. “He’s so popular, I don’t know why he never just told everyone the truth. His reputation could take it.”

Akaashi wonders the same thing.

\---

_ Breaking news: volleyball rivals Hinata and Kageyama seen kissing in downtown Tokyo! _

Akaashi has to read the headline a few more times before he can quite believe it. It’s like the morning he’d read Bokuto was getting married all over again. And just like then, he sends the article to Kuroo.

>>Yeah, I saw. Always knew those two had a thing.

Akaashi’s thumbs hesitate over the send button, but Kuroo beats him to the punch.

>>Maybe our boy will take it to heart.

Akaashi shakes his head.

<<It’s too late now.

And then, when he sees the dots that indicate Kuroo’s answering, he sends another.

<<It’s fine.

Kuroo continues typing for a moment, and then his dots disappear.

\---

“What’s with you and Kuroo?”

“Nothing,” Bokuto answers, and for once Akaashi thinks he might be telling the truth. “Why, what’s with you and Kuroo?”

“Nothing,” Akaashi repeats back. 

Bokuto sighs. “Do you think I should tell Mirai?”

“About what?”

“About you.”

Akaashi picks his next words carefully. “I think you should marry someone you don’t have to hide anything from. You should marry someone you trust absolutely. Someone you can tell anything. Can you tell her anything?”

Bokuto doesn’t answer right away, but when he does his voice is heavy.

“No,” he responds.

Akaashi has to know.

“Do you love her, Bokuto-san?”

Bokuto is silent, and that’s all the answer Akaashi needs. 

The last knife pierces his heart, and Akaashi realizes he’s guided Bokuto’s hands all along.

\---

“You said our boy,” Akaashi says the next time Kuroo’s over.

Kuroo tries to be nonchalant, sitting criss-cross on the couch and not looking away from the movie he’d picked out. “Typo,” he says shortly.

Akaashi grabs the remote and shuts the television off, and Kuroo’s mouth goes tight.

“Yes?” he says.

Akaashi puts a hand on his knee. “Do you have feelings for Bokuto?”

Kuroo looks up at the ceiling. “I don’t suppose there’s any point in lying to you, is there?” he questions.

“Not at all,” Akaashi says. “I’d prefer the truth.”

“Then yeah, I have feelings for him.” He looks back down at Akaashi. “It’s why I agreed to sleep with you. I thought it might help both of us move on.”

“Did it help you?” Akaashi asks.

Kuroo huffs out a laugh. “Nah. Just realized my heart’s too big for one person, or whatever.”

Akaashi thinks long and hard about this and moves the hand that had been on Kuroo’s knee up to his face. “Tetsurou.”

Kuroo’s breath hitches in his throat. “Yeah?”

“He doesn’t love her.”

Kuroo nods. “I know.”

Akaashi leans in close, close enough he can see each of Kuroo’s long eyelashes as he blinks.

“Keiji?” he murmurs.

“I think my heart might be too big for one person, too.”

Akaashi kisses him, slow and deep, and Kuroo’s hands wrap around his waist. Akaashi rearranges so he’s sitting in Kuroo’s lap, and they kiss until Akaashi’s breathless and has to pull away.

Kuroo reaches up and runs his fingers through Akaashi’s hair. Akaashi leans forward until their foreheads are touching and lets his eyes fall shut. Kuroo’s next words are breathed quietly into his ear. 

“So what are you going to do?”

Akaashi settles into his embrace. “I don’t know.”

\---

“I told Mirai about you.”

Akaashi nearly drops the phone. Bokuto hasn’t called him in nearly two weeks. 

“What did he say?” Kuroo asks from beside him.

“Is that Kuroo?” Bokuto questions.

“We’re watching a movie,” Akaashi answers. “You told Mirai about me?”

“Watching a movie?”

“He told Mirai about you?”

Akaashi waves his hand impatiently at Kuroo. “Shut up,” he hisses.

“What?” Bokuto asks.

“Not you,” Akaashi says quickly. “What happened?”

Bokuto sighs. “I told her everything.”

Akaashi’s stomach drops out from under him. “You told her everything?”

“Yeah,” Bokuto sounds vaguely out of breath. “About you, and about me, and everything.”

Akaashi can’t breathe. He grabs Kuroo’s hand and squeezes it tight. “So…”

There’s a knock at Akaashi’s door. 

“Hang on, Bokuto,” Akaashi says. He lets go of Kuroo’s hand and crosses to the door.

Bokuto is standing in his hallway.

“So we broke up,” Bokuto says. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Akaashi sees Kuroo stand. He seems to think about moving forward but stops himself; Akaashi is torn.

“Keiji,” Bokuto murmurs.

Akaashi grabs him by the front of the shirt and drags him into the apartment, shutting the door and shoving him up against it. “I’m so fucking mad at you,” he cries, and then he’s pushing his mouth against Bokuto’s.

Bokuto’s hands find the back of his head and he kisses back, holding Akaashi tight. Akaashi pulls away and punches him in the shoulder.

“You broke my heart,” he accuses. “You broke both our hearts, and you didn’t even care.”

“Both our hearts?” Bokuto questions, and he looks over at Kuroo.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” Akaashi demands, turning Bokuto’s chin toward him. “You selfish bastard, I’ve been in love with you for ten years and you made me wait all this time.”

“Ten years?” Bokuto questions, and Akaashi can’t wait anymore and has to kiss him again, has to taste his lips. He feels tears forming in his eyes and doesn’t hold them back.

“Yes, ten years,” Akaashi says. “Tetsurou, get over here and say your piece so I’m not the only one yelling.”

“I’m not gonna yell,” Kuroo says quickly, but he does as Akaashi asks anyway. “I don’t...I don’t have a place here, Akaashi, I don’t have a history the way you two do.”

“But you’re in love with him the same way I am,” Akaashi argues. “Tell him.”

Bokuto and Kuroo look at each other. “Is it true?” Bokuto asks.

Kuroo bites his lip. “Yeah.”

They stare at each other, and Akaashi waits with bated breath until Bokuto frees himself from Akaashi’s hold and pulls Kuroo into a hug. Bokuto’s crying now, too, and Akaashi wipes impatiently at his own face.

“You stole both our hearts and didn’t even care,” Akaashi says, and Bokuto looks up from Kuroo.

“I did care,” he says. His eyes are rimmed with red. “I cared, I was...fuck, Keiji, I was scared. I didn’t think you loved me the way I loved you.”

Akaashi huffs. “I didn’t think you loved me the way I loved you.”

“Did you ever consider talking about it?” Kuroo asks, and Akaashi glares at him.

“You’re one to talk,” he says, jabbing a finger in Kuroo’s direction. “You’ve loved him even longer than I have.”

Kuroo inclines his head. “Maybe I should have considered talking about it, too.”

Akaashi wraps his arms around both of them, and Bokuto lifts his arm up to accommodate him. 

“I’m going to do this the right way this time,” Bokuto says. “I promise. I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”

Bokuto breaks apart their hug and takes Akaashi’s hands. “Akaashi Keiji, will you be my boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Akaashi says. “It’s about fucking time.”

He turns to Kuroo and takes Kuroo’s hands. “Kuroo Tetsurou, will you also be my boyfriend?”

“You’re a big sap,” Kuroo says, touching Bokuto’s cheek fondly. “But yeah.”

Bokuto looks at them expectantly, and Kuroo and Akaashi look at each other and burst into laughter.

“Boyfriends?” Kuroo asks.

Akaashi’s tears are tears of joy, now. “Yeah,” he agrees. He takes each of them by the hand. “Come on, we’ve got a movie on.”

“A movie?” Bokuto questions.

Akaashi smiles, a hint of mischief in his face. “I didn’t say we had to watch it.”

\---

The alarm shocks Akaashi out of his sleep, which is surprising. Usually he’s up before the alarm.

He reaches over Kuroo and turns it off, and his two grumbly boyfriends snuggle in closer to him when he settles back between them.

“It’s Saturday,” Bokuto mumbles. “You aren’t really getting up, are you?”

Akaashi lets his eyes fall shut again. Kuroo’s arm falls across his waist. 

“No, Koutarou. I’m not going anywhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks forever to my team (sorry i made you cry gray)  
> links to socials in profile


End file.
